Connection—one simple word, but shhiitttt is it hard as hell! I think a lot of us are quietly (or not-so-quietly) longing for connection—so if you’re in that boat too, welcome to the stupid club. Let’s bond over this shared struggle so I don’t feel so alone, okay? Great – connection! Woo hoo! We are killing it!
From the moment we’re born, we’re wired for connection. Friends, family, partners, community—these relationships are like gold for your mental health. They lower stress, help kick anxiety and depression in the ass, and sprinkle in some much-needed joy (most of the time, iykyk)
For me, connection is a sense of belonging, security, and feeling like I’m enough. And dammit that last one is something I don’t know if I will ever fully feel. Am I enough? That … is a blog for another day! Anyway, knowing someone is in my corner—even if they have no clue what I’m going through—means everything. Hearing “I got you” from someone? That’s something that instantly reduces my cortisol levels I swear!
A few months ago, I texted my Sujok therapist, Dr. Alla. (who has become my friend). I told her I am completely underwater, and breathing through one of those stir sticks underwater … aka, I am drowning and I need to be saved. I said on the phone “I think I am really fucked. I don’t think I can recover and come back from all this shit, it is hitting me full force and all at once”. She didn’t hit me with advice or some self-help bs. She just replied, “Don’t worry, baby, I got you.” And damn, those five words hit different. She’s been helping me work through severe panic attacks, boosting my confidence, and that messy little thing called self-worth – yeah … she is sprinkling that into my sessions. I’ve had about 5 treatments with her since August. In my session last week, I told her, “I feel like I don’t know who I am or where I fit.” And my angel on earth reminded me that not everyone is in our life forever. I said I am in rooms with people who used to be my people, and I feel like I am so out of place. I don’t know what voodoo shit she did, but I feel like I am finally coming home, to myself.
Learning who you are and what you really want—is terrifying. Seriously, writing down what your dream life looks like is vulnerable as fuck. But then you realize, wait a second, I get to build what my dream life looks like? Well, that, in itself, is scary. WHO gave me control in this, are they NUTS! How petrifying. What if I make a mistake? What if I design a life, that later I no longer want? Fun Fact – you can change it, at any moment … welcome to what I call … a pivot! (You’re thinking about Ross and Rachel and the couch aren’t yah?!)
Anyway … I know this whole journey to self-thing can suck. Sitting in discomfort feels like getting punched in the … well you know! But I want you to know, those shitty moments? Those mistakes that you don’t feel you can ever come back from? They are just a paragraph, a chapter in your story, and not the whole damn book. Growth happens in those awkward, messy, uncomfortable places—and yeah, it’s hard. Yeah it is bullshit. But ohhh damn is it worth it to come up on the other side.
Also, shocking that this is some how a few blogs in one, and what I always say to my counsellor, Wyll who is honestly one of my favourite people, “fuck … it is all connected isn’t it!”
So here’s your reminder: your life is worth the fucking hard work to be the magical human being that you are. YOU are worth the work. And even when things feel heavy as fuck, just know—you’ve got this. And if you don’t, I know a few great therapists – send me a message and I’ll get you set up!
