Connectionâone simple word, but shhiitttt is it hard as hell! I think a lot of us are quietly (or not-so-quietly) longing for connectionâso if youâre in that boat too, welcome to the stupid club. Letâs bond over this shared struggle so I donât feel so alone, okay? Great â connection! Woo hoo! We are killing it!
From the moment weâre born, weâre wired for connection. Friends, family, partners, communityâthese relationships are like gold for your mental health. They lower stress, help kick anxiety and depression in the ass, and sprinkle in some much-needed joy (most of the time, iykyk)
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For me, connection is a sense of belonging, security, and feeling like Iâm enough. And dammit that last one is something I donât know if I will ever fully feel. Am I enough? That … is a blog for another day! Anyway, knowing someone is in my cornerâeven if they have no clue what Iâm going throughâmeans everything. Hearing âI got youâ from someone? Thatâs something that instantly reduces my cortisol levels I swear!
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A few months ago, I texted my Sujok therapist, Dr. Alla. (who has become a great friend). I told her I am completely underwater, and breathing through one of those stir sticks underwater … aka, I am drowning and I need to be saved. I said on the phone “I think I am really fucked. I donât think I can recover and come back from all this shit, it is hitting me full force and all at once”. She didnât hit me with advice or some self-help bs. She just replied, âDonât worry, baby, I got you.â And damn, those five words hit different. Sheâs been helping me work through severe panic attacks, boosting my confidence, and that messy little thing called self-worth â yeah ⌠she is sprinkling that into my sessions. I’ve had about 5 treatments with her since August. In my session last week, I told her, âI feel like I donât know who I am or where I fit.â And my angel on earth reminded me that not everyone is in our life forever. I said I am in rooms with people who used to be my people, and I feel like I am so out of place. I donât know what voodoo shit she did, but I feel like I am finally coming home, to myself. Her sessions are not cheap. But invest in yourself – will make a life worth living. I promise you that!
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Learning who you are and what you really wantâis terrifying. Seriously, writing down what your dream life looks like is vulnerable as heck. But then you realize, wait a second, I get to build what my dream life looks like? Well, that, in itself, is scary. WHO gave me control in this, are they NUTS! How petrifying. What if I make a mistake? What if I design a life, that later I no longer want? Fun Fact â you can change it, at any moment ⌠welcome to what I call ⌠a pivot! (Youâre thinking about Ross and Rachel and the couch arenât yah?!)
Anyway … I know this whole journey to self-thing can suck. Sitting in discomfort feels like getting punched in the ⌠well you know! But I want you to know, those shitty moments? Those mistakes that you donât feel you can ever come back from? They are just a paragraph, a chapter in your story, and not the whole damn book. Growth happens in those awkward, messy, uncomfortable placesâand yeah, itâs hard. Yeah it is bullshit. But ohhh damn is it worth it to come up on the other side.
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Also, shocking that this is some how a few blogs in one, and what I always say to my counsellor, Wyll who is honestly one of my favourite people, “dammit … it is all connected isn’t it!”
So hereâs your reminder: your life is worth the hard work to be the magical human being that you are. YOU are worth the work. And even when things feel heavy as F***, just knowâyouâve got this. And if you donât, I know a few great therapists â send me a message and Iâll get you set up!
