PCOS and My Chocolate Chip Ovaries…

Ah, PCOS – where your ovaries decide to fill up with little cysts like chocolate chips, but instead of a cookie party, you get a hormone shitstorm, and when a cyst bursts it can be the worst pain. During one of my many ultrasounds, the technician told me, “Ok, I know this is going to sound weird, but you have the cutest ovaries ever—they look like chocolate chip cookies!” I had to laugh, and I was like, “I’m assuming that’s a bad thing, considering I have PCOS.” Spoiler alert: yep! Honestly, if my ovaries wanted to act this way, the least they could do was bake me something sweet!

Let’s talk about the real PCOS experience: one minute you’re sobbing over dog videos, and the next, you’re raging because someone left a dirty spoon on the counter (I know Brody … we’ve worked this out in therapy)! Mood swings? Just the tip of the iceberg. Add weight fluctuations that don’t give a fuck about your meal prep or workouts, and a metabolism slower than a turtle. I’ve tried every diet out there … from eating only 500 calories a day to keto to plant-based. And if I have to hear one more person say, “You just need to eat less,” I might lose it. Ummm, no, Janet. I’ve tried that. And while I lost a few pounds, the second I started eating normally again—BOOM, I ballooned. Stress? Don’t even get me started what thats like!!

And here’s the real kicker … PCOS doesn’t just mess with your period; it impacts everything: fertility, sleep, energy, and mental health. Oh, and let’s not forget insulin resistance, because PCOS likes to keep things interesting. I was on Ozempic back in 2018, and it was a game-changer for Insulin Resistance. For once, my sugar levels were in the NORMAL freaking range!!! BLESS. But then it became incredibly popular for weight loss, I couldn’t get it for months. My body went straight to hell and my sugar levels went right back up! And the dumbest part? You can’t take it while you’re trying to conceive. So not only are you feeling like garbage from the extra hormones and injections, but you’re also denied medication that could actually help. Neat, huh? I recently discovered Mounjaro, and I feel like it’s made the playing field even if ya know what I mean!

Managing PCOS for me feels like a full-time job: tracking cycles, tweaking your diet, popping a literal handful of supplements, and trying not to strangle anyone who tells you to “just try yoga.” It’s a relentless cycle of trial, error, and what-the-fuck-now? moments.

But I’ll be positive for a second here…PCOS isn’t all doom and gloom. It’s made me resilient, forced me to listen to my body, and taught me how to advocate for myself when doctors brush me off. If nothing else, it’s given me a whole new appreciation for how much BS I can handle.

At the end of the day, living with PCOS is about navigating chaos with a middle finger raised high. Because even when my hormones are out of control, I refuse to let this disorder run the show. It’s one chocolate-chip-ovary day at a time. Just *wait* until my blog post on Endo … that my friends, will be a doozy!

Now .. go enjoy a chocolate chip cookie, with some tea and kick back and put some Love is Blind on or Schitts Creek!